Halloween

Steven sighed as he peaked through the blinds out onto the street. They were everywhere. Witches and ghosts, football players and cheerleaders, orcs and goblins. All the tiny morons in their ill- fitting store bought costumes. He pitied them. They had become part of this money making scheme known as Halloween.

As a child, Steven had an important relationship with Halloween. He refused to participate. When they would have Halloween parties at school, Steven would sit by himself, at his desk, in silence. All his classmates would prance around the classroom like idiots, delighting in their own stupid antics. Steven's parents had told him to never participate in this dreadful holiday, and he had always taken them at their word. The whole thing was a scheme by big candy companies to make lots of money by fattening up generations of children with their awful tasting candy.

Steven had dressed up in costume once. He was in college and his roommates convinced him to go to a costume party at a local fraternity house. Steven went as an accountant. He thought the costume was pretty self-explanatory, but apparently no one else got it. Just because he wasn't dressed as a slutty something or other, didn't mean he wasn't in costume.

That was the first and only time. Since then, every Halloween, he had locked his doors and turned all his lights off. This did not deter the odd child from wandering onto his property and ringiung his doorbell. That is why Steven was sitting here, with a bull horn in his hand, ready to drive them off. He had no candy to give out, no tricks or treats. All he had was the fierce desire to show these children that they were being mindless drones influenced by the media.

Steven yelled, blew the horn, and drove off an 8 year old in a poorly made Joker costume. This was going to be a long night.