Steven
sighed as he peaked through the blinds out onto the street. They
were everywhere. Witches and ghosts, football players and
cheerleaders, orcs and goblins. All the tiny morons in their ill-
fitting store bought costumes. He pitied them. They had become part
of this money making scheme known as Halloween.
As a
child, Steven had an important relationship with Halloween. He
refused to participate. When they would have Halloween parties at
school, Steven would sit by himself, at his desk, in silence. All
his classmates would prance around the classroom like idiots,
delighting in their own stupid antics. Steven's parents had told him
to never participate in this dreadful holiday, and he had always
taken them at their word. The whole thing was a scheme by big candy
companies to make lots of money by fattening up generations of
children with their awful tasting candy.
Steven
had dressed up in costume once. He was in college and his roommates
convinced him to go to a costume party at a local fraternity house.
Steven went as an accountant. He thought the costume was pretty
self-explanatory, but apparently no one else got it. Just because he
wasn't dressed as a slutty something or other, didn't mean he wasn't
in costume.
That was
the first and only time. Since then, every Halloween, he had locked
his doors and turned all his lights off. This did not deter the odd
child from wandering onto his property and ringiung his doorbell.
That is why Steven was sitting here, with a bull horn in his hand,
ready to drive them off. He had no candy to give out, no tricks or
treats. All he had was the fierce desire to show these children that
they were being mindless drones influenced by the media.
Steven
yelled, blew the horn, and drove off an 8 year old in a poorly made
Joker costume. This was going to be a long night.
